[Feminism] Privilege

[pyrephox]

Have read a couple of blog posts on male privlege, lately, and--of course--the discussions in the comments are almost always more telling, no matter how well written and insightful the actual post is.



That Guy is, all told, a reasonably good guy. He's nice, someone you'd be happy to hang out with under most circumstances, and considers himself to be a modern, progressive, sensitive man. But when it comes to discussions of male privilege, you can always tell That Guy from the other good guys out there.

Because he doesn't get it. He's never seen male privilege, and he's always quick to point out that women can manipulate men to get anything they want, and isn't /that/ a 'privilege', as well? He argues that he's never gotten anything for being a man, and never seen a woman have to work harder or be denied anything for being a woman. So, clearly, male privilege doesn't exist. And, moreover, he's Very Offended that he's automatically considered to be a sexist asshole because of the concept.

This rather misses the point of the concept.

Men do not /see/ male privilege unless they really, seriously are looking for it. And even then, it's hard to see it applied to themselves. That's because the privileged state is the normative state. It's a state defined by the absence of harassement and threat, rather than being given more than you deserve. If you have it, you don't notice it. Just off the top of my head, some of the aspects of male privilege can be:

You are less likely to have friends and family try to veto long solo trips, or going out by yourself after nightfall.
You are less likely to worry about being raped if you /are/ by yourself out after dark.
You're less likely to be touched by people you don't know. (This goes double for pregnant women, who it seems /everyone/ thinks they have the perfect right to come up and grope.)
You're less likely to have the check handed to someone else at a table, and hardly anyone ever thinks that they can go ahead and order for you without asking.
No one ever asks you if you're planning to get married before you take a job, or before you're given a promotion, with the assumption that marriage will disrupt your career.
For that matter, you don't have to spend as much effort convincing employers that you're 'aggressive' enough, just because you were born with a soft sounding voice.
You can look at most media, and easily find male characters with personality, who are not immediately subtyped into: Dangerous and Beautiful Traitor/Assassin, Conniving and Shrewish Bitch, or Innocent and Childlike Little Sister.
If someone disagrees with a political or public figure who is male, you are much less likely to hear slurs on their sexual attractiveness, rape jokes, and judgement of their political positions by way of their physical beauty (or lack thereof).

I could go on, but the point is, that male privilege in the modern era is largely defined by what you DON'T have to deal with in daily life, as opposed to some super secret magical gifts that you get by virtue of being male. So no, That Guy doesn't see it, because he's all unawares in the middle of it. But he's not willing to accept that women's experiences are different from his, or that this might mean that he's not seeing something that's going on, and therefore, Male Privilege Does Not Exist. And in one fell swoop, he proves himself not such a good guy after all, not because he hasn't experienced it, but because he will happily deny the experiences of others, without understanding that their world is different from his world.

It's as if I, as a white person, decided that because I'd never been called a racial slur (and I haven't), that means that those words aren't used anymore. After all, /I/ haven't experienced it, so clearly, anyone who says that they have experienced such a thing must be exaggerating. It's really quite irritating.

Comments

[archangelbeth]

*nod*

I am oblivious to a lot of stuff, and still... if nothing else... I know that I am automatically grouped into "victim" in certain circumstances. It gives me a paranoid streak.

*sigh*

[cythraul.livejournal.com]

My two cents: I'd actualy kinda like to have some of these things happen to me. Not all of them, but some of them.

[maladaptive.livejournal.com]

You rock, so much. I was talking to this about my mother, and she snapped "why do you let it bother you so much?"

Because people need to understand the concept of privilege. It's not a single, concrete thing. And I am so sick and tired of people saying "well, women can use their sex appeal to make men do what they want, is that a privilege?" EFF NO. That'd be like saying, Johnny Depp can use his sex appeal to make women do what he wants, is that anything but "sexy person privilege" or whatever that is? Jaysus.

But thank you for saying it far better than I ever could.

[dreadmouse.livejournal.com]

Huh. That's a really good point or three, there. Thanks, that gives me something to think about.

[cpip.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

Now convince me, as part of the privileged class, that I really should give a damn about it rather than enjoy what society has deemed my rights.

[amethystjade.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I think I am That Guy sometimes. You have given me food for thought.