pyrephox

Despite what the whining in my LJ may on occassional imply, I'm not generally an unhappy person. Taken as a whole, I think I'm not a bad person, and I don't have a bad life. In fact, my life is a great deal better than many people...I'm education, going to recieve a higher degree in a stable industry, doing work that I really enjoy. That's not bad.

But (and you knew there had to be a 'but'), sometimes a lot of small stressors get together and start jumping on me all at once. And for the last month, I've had to deal with lots of disturbing things of varying strength. Car trouble that looks like it's going to cost a couple hundred /more/ dollars to fix, just general school stuff, being put on rather expensive medication, a nagging sensation of isolation and 'outsideness' that is more intolerable lately than it had been for a while, and now, the prospect of moving into a place of my own which, while pleasant, is still stressful.

It's wearing me down. I can feel my patience and joie de vivre slipping a little more each day. And I don't really know how to replenish the drain. Many of the things I usually find enjoyable are now stressful. When I read, I'm always conscious that I should be working on schoolwork. In most of my games, I'm the GM, not the player. Which is fun, but you can't just forget yourself in it. Comfort food is, for the most part, right out, because of the diet. And, sadly, although I've lost twenty pounds, no one has noticed.

I don't know. Things will get better. Over Christmas, I'll probably have time to rest and recoup, I guess. I just need some time when things go all right, or something. Or some sort of happy boost, but that's unlikely to happen.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Date: 2004-11-12 08:59 pm (UTC)

From:

undauntra.livejournal.com

no subject

Play at INSS.

Date: 2004-11-12 09:01 pm (UTC)

pyrephox.livejournal.com

No time, hon. I only have so much attention span, and with final papers and final exams coming up, I can't even think about making a new character to play somewhere, much less spend the time in scenes in stuff at a new MUSH. :)

Date: 2004-11-12 10:09 pm (UTC)

archangelbeth

About my only suggestion is to try to budget some time. "I finish X schoolwork, and I get Y reward of reading." Then you don't feel guilty, because it's in your time budget. You've earned it.

(If it's getting cold out, it's the worst time to lose weight. Coats and whatnot cover up the weight loss. And hey, congrats! 20 pounds is a lot!)

Me, I'm just sick and PMSy at the same time. While spouse is sick. With an active kid who has more energy than I can really deal with. *sigh*