Pod Person Moment

My grandfather: "Women should stay home with the children. We wouldn't be having all these problems if they'd stay where they're supposed to be."

My father (uncomfortably, which is his saving grace): "Well, no one can really do that, these days. Takes all everyone can scrape together just to make ends meet."

Grandfather: "I'm just saying that they /should/."

Grandmother: "I stayed home with my kids, and you all turned out all right."

Grandfather: "See?"

Father: *searching for a change of subject* "Er, well. Democrats. Yes. See how they're persecuting the President? Bad Democrats, bad!"

Me: *eyes the dinner fork with wistful desperation. It would fit so perfectly in an eye socket. Mine, or theirs.*


What family am I from, and how did I end up with these people?