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...this is, well, special. Very, very special. The End of Courtship
Quotes:
"For the first time in human history, mature women by the tens of thousands live the entire decade of their twenties — their most fertile years — neither in the homes of their fathers nor in the homes of their husbands; unprotected, lonely, and out of sync with their inborn nature."
Because God knows, if you're not having babies with a man, your life sucks.
"The change most immediately devastating for wooing is probably the sexual revolution. For why would a man court a woman for marriage when she may be sexually enjoyed, and regularly, without it? Contrary to what the youth of the sixties believed, they were not the first to feel the power of sexual desire. Many, perhaps even most, men in earlier times avidly sought sexual pleasure prior to and outside of marriage. But they usually distinguished, as did the culture generally, between women one fooled around with and women one married, between a woman of easy virtue and a woman of virtue simply. Only respectable women were respected; one no more wanted a loose woman for one's partner than for one's mother."
Because if there aren't women that you can look down on as sluts, then there's just something wrong with the world, isn't there?
"For it is a woman's refusal of sexual importunings, coupled with hints or promises of later gratification, that is generally a necessary condition of transforming a man's lust into love. Women also lost the capacity to discover their own genuine longings and best interests. For only by holding herself in reserve does a woman gain the distance and self-command needed to discern what and whom she truly wants and to insist that the ardent suitor measure up."
So, um. A woman can only know what she wants by being a tease, because she's just naturally too un-self-controlled to know if she wants to have sex.
Some people are really, really dumb.
Quotes:
"For the first time in human history, mature women by the tens of thousands live the entire decade of their twenties — their most fertile years — neither in the homes of their fathers nor in the homes of their husbands; unprotected, lonely, and out of sync with their inborn nature."
Because God knows, if you're not having babies with a man, your life sucks.
"The change most immediately devastating for wooing is probably the sexual revolution. For why would a man court a woman for marriage when she may be sexually enjoyed, and regularly, without it? Contrary to what the youth of the sixties believed, they were not the first to feel the power of sexual desire. Many, perhaps even most, men in earlier times avidly sought sexual pleasure prior to and outside of marriage. But they usually distinguished, as did the culture generally, between women one fooled around with and women one married, between a woman of easy virtue and a woman of virtue simply. Only respectable women were respected; one no more wanted a loose woman for one's partner than for one's mother."
Because if there aren't women that you can look down on as sluts, then there's just something wrong with the world, isn't there?
"For it is a woman's refusal of sexual importunings, coupled with hints or promises of later gratification, that is generally a necessary condition of transforming a man's lust into love. Women also lost the capacity to discover their own genuine longings and best interests. For only by holding herself in reserve does a woman gain the distance and self-command needed to discern what and whom she truly wants and to insist that the ardent suitor measure up."
So, um. A woman can only know what she wants by being a tease, because she's just naturally too un-self-controlled to know if she wants to have sex.
Some people are really, really dumb.
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From:
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From:
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What man in his right mind is going to want a woman like that? It would turn one's entire life into this nightmare struggle of having to continually bribe her to come to an agreement on this. And the idea that women would prefer to be this sort of...of...of I don't know what, or that the idea is 'romantic'. Because what woman would want to have that sort of dynamic? Where everything is some contest? Some attempt to manipulate a man into changing his natural impulses into something else via teasing?
You've officially blown my tiny little libertarian mind.
From:
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If you're a man, then you've got the assurance that she's not going to cheat on you, because you're her only source of security. (And besides, she hates sex, so why would she go out shopping?) And, presumably, the idea that is once you've married her, she /is/ available for sex anytime, because that's the deal. (This ties into the (wrong) idea that there can't be rape between spouses. Marriage means sexual availability whenever one partner wants it.) And, if you believe that men are solely motivated by their need for sex, /and/ are in a society where unmarried women are expected to deny sex at every turn, that's a powerful incentive.
If you're the woman, you get enjoy sex...as long as you don't enjoy it too much, or too often, so that he doesn't get bored with you. You can't count on him being faithful, but he'll pay the bills, and not complain overmuch. And if there's ever anything you seriously want, you can probably get it by manipulating him sexually, or denying him sex. Also, you don't have to play the game anymore with other men, which means that you finally get to be more like the person you really are. (Hence the old joke about a woman becoming frumpy after she's 'trapped her man'.)
It's a nasty dynamic, but one that, sadly, does play out with couples across the country.
From:
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That's *if* he's enjoyable in the sack, or even cares about your enjoyment beyond his.