I've passed this several times, but I'm only now remembering to put it up here. There's a auto place on a back road in Greenwood which uses its sign board to give a religious proclamation. This is not, in itself, unusual in rural South Carolina. However, the blurb goes:

He Is An On Time God
Yes He Is

...of all the things praiseworthy one might find about Yahweh, this is the first time I have heard his punctuality mentioned.

From: [identity profile] cpip.livejournal.com


I keep wanting to make that an anagram, or a secret code, or something.

From: [identity profile] pyrephox.livejournal.com


Mmm, intrigue.

If I go by one day and it says He is A Late God, then I'll be very, very concerned.

From: [identity profile] cpip.livejournal.com


"Come now, or you will be late."
"Late? Whatever for?"
"What is your name, human?"
"Dent. Arthur Dent."
"Late, as in the Late Dentarthurdent. It's a threat, you see..."

From: [identity profile] mihrimah.livejournal.com


Punctuality is next to cleanliness, which everyone knows is next to godliness.

Because the whole Exodus thing just wouldn't have happened if God had been late to the parting-the-Red-Sea party, and all sorts of things wouldn't have happened starting with the Jews never making it to Israel and moving on to (but not ending with) Jesus never having been born and creating Christianity to tell us how important punctuality is. Where would we be if God was late?

From: [identity profile] stevenehrbar.livejournal.com


This is the same God to whom a day and a thousand years are all the same, right? Who refuses to tell anyone in advance when judgment is coming, saying it'll sneak up like a thief in the night?

From: [identity profile] heatherbeast.livejournal.com


This is totally a passive-aggressive jab at people being late to services.

From: [identity profile] pyrephox.livejournal.com


That's probably it. It's just.../odd/. Especially to be in front of a auto repair shop.

From: [identity profile] cythraul.livejournal.com


... On time in the "a wizard arrives exactly when he chooses" sense. Maybe. If you squint right. o.o

From: [identity profile] pyrephox.livejournal.com


Well, yeah. I mean, if He controls time, then He is -- by definition -- ALWAYS on time. He can't be anything else, right?

From: [identity profile] cpip.livejournal.com


Sure He can. He's everything, so by definition, He can be late if He wants to.

(See the argument: Can God Make A Stone So Heavy He Cannot Lift It?)
.