Yaaaaawn.

[pyrephox]

Late night RP has really done a number on my sleep cycles. Even though I forced myself to be in the bed by ten o'clock last night, I didn't really fall asleep until after midnight. Still, I'm going to have to make an effort to get myself back to bed at reasonable hours, so that my body relearns the joys of eight hours of sleep.

ETA: Ooooh. Apparently, the next (dear god there are TWO??) Talia Gryphon book, 'Key to Conspiracy', is out. I find myself torn. On one hand, the first book was utterly, laughably awful, and I really don't want to give anyone money for it. On the other hand, the potential for the luls is immense, and there's a train wreck quality to anything that horrific. I cannot decide whether to spend the money for the entertainment value or not.

Comments

[cpip.livejournal.com]

You could always see if the local public library will be bringing it in. It's how I got Jen the second Book of the Zodiac. Which is also very bad. (She's going to force the first one on you.)

[cmerun12.livejournal.com]

Or ask me --- I can send you copies of both books...

[fadethecat.livejournal.com]

I don't think I recall hearing about the awful Talia Gryphon book. Tell me more!

[pyrephox.livejournal.com]

It's called 'Key to Conflict', and is in the much-loved (by me, anyway) genre of urban-fantasy-paranormal-romance. I am okay with some shameless wish-fulfilment and cliche in this genre. It is happy popcorn, and this particular book had an interesting premise: a therapist with empathic powers who specializes in the paranormal (or paramortal in the book).

Unfortunately, it is horrible in every possible way.

First, the main character. Gillian Key is a Marine Captain! And she's an Empath! And she's a secret agent! And she's the foremost paranormal therapist on the globe! No, wait, she's a /former/ Marine. And a /former/ secret agent. Except that she's on a mission, and can call on her old unit and all the firepower when she needs. Or something, the author's not really sure. Actually, several of the world-building details contradict themselves, sometimes within five pages of each other. But that's not the worst thing about the character...the worst thing about the character is that she's imcompetent as ALL OF THE ABOVE. She's a seasoned secret agent character who, upon finding out that she's been assigned to a sensitive and dangerous diplomatic mission, immediately gets drunk in front of the possibly-not-allied vampires, and picks a fight with one of them. She's a therapist who is simultaneously both incredibly dense to when she's being played, and who has no problem jumping into bed with her brand-new client's brother. She's an empath who is, to put it mildly, a raging and insensitive asshole with an irrational temper. Sadly, these traits are not intentional; the author seems to believe that this is how an admireable and strong female character should act. And, finally, she's supposed to be a very competent soldier, despite the fact that for most of the book, fighting is largely a way to have her strip or get spanked (literally) by vampires.

The 'love interests' are assholes with spanking fetishes, and shut the main character out of any real action or interesting activities until the very end of the novel...and she's perfectly happy with this, by all accounts, making for a very boring middle of the book. The writing itself is fairly atrocious, and pretty confusing. And there isn't really any sort of /plot/ until the very end. I mean, seriously, the first three/fourths of the book are nothing but infodumps, sex, and people angsting about how big and bad Dracula is. There are couple of meaningless action scenes tossed in there, largely for the purposes of making the main character strip, but otherwise, nada.

/And/ the therapy sessions are bland, not aligned with any legitimate theory, and without any actual insight into how paranormal creatures cognition or emotions might be different from normal humans.

[fadethecat.livejournal.com]

...wow. And this was actually put out by a legit publisher?

[pyrephox.livejournal.com]

Yep. Ace Publishing. And, apparently, had enough copies to warrant a sequel!

So...anyone who was having fears of never being able to be a 'real, published writer'? Look upon this work, and have good cheer: you can't POSSIBLY be worse.

[fadethecat.livejournal.com]

I feel rather less bad about the endless cliches of the Sien story when I hear about things like this. If also rather more dubious about the sense of the editors reviewing submitted manuscripts.

On the other hand, if that sells, it makes sense for them to buy it. Sadly.

[amethystjade.livejournal.com]

I think this is what libraries were invented for.