(no subject)

[pyrephox]

Thanks to the date, and the presentation that I have to make in class tonight, I am frustrated and grumpy, and without much patience for anything. Many women on campus are walking around with flowers today...they have this thing where you can buy a carnation, and have it sent to someone in class or wherever on campus. Lots of flowers. They're very pretty. Most of my friends are in relationships, and thus /really/ don't want to hear me whine about being twenty-six and just a little lonely, so mostly I try not to.

But it's harder this year. This year is pretty much the first time I've actually really /wanted/ to be with someone. Not necessarily something serious, but...just a little chance to cuddle, to spend time with someone, to desire someone who desires me just as much.

Edit: And you know, I don't even mean romantically, necessarily. I can go for...a week, or more, without any more than the most casual touch from another person, like accidently bumping into them in the hall or something. I can go a couple of days at a time without talking to anyone. It gets...wearing, after a time.

I can still appreciate the happiness and sweetness of the day, and I do like seeing people happy together.

I just wish I could be one of them, for once in my life.

Comments

[sariel-di.livejournal.com]

[offers virtual hugs, even if they're not as good as real hugs]

Definite sympathies. V-Day in high school was never especially fun for someone single, and I can't imagine V-Day in college is that much better. And I've been having similar "skin/social hunger" urges for...a while now. >_> So I know what you mean. [wry look]

I hope the day gets better for you. [scritchies]

[pyrephox.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

It's not a /bad/ day, by any means. It's actually lovely outside, with bright blue skies, and just cold enough for me to feel largely comfortable. And yeah, the social urges can be killers. Especially if you're more of an introvert, and start to get jumpy and unhappy around large groups of people you don't know. People say, "Get out more, and you'd meet people!" And you say, where? "Bars, clubs, that sort of thing." And you don't drink, don't like loud music, and don't really know how to interact with large groups of people...most of whom are already /in/ groups that don't include you...

And it's getting to the point in my life where most of the places where I might meet people who share my interests are filled with people who are already paired off, or that I've already known for several years and am not compatable with. And the people who I'd feel comfortable being openly affectionate with, without it being taken to be something it's not, have mostly moved far away.

[sariel-di.livejournal.com]

[grins]

Yes! Exactly. It'd be one thing if there was an actual reason to interact with the people (classes are love, good club-based hobbies are love, etc), but random strangers? Errrrrrr. Random strangers in situations that you already don't like or aren't interested in? Errrrrr. Etc.

[nods] [scritchies lots] Very frustrating, yes. And the Internet helps a little with at least the social need, yay for good friends online -- but not at all with the touch one, and it's not the same as talking to or seeing people in person. >_>

[usekh.livejournal.com]

*hugs tight*I know just how you feel

[solaas.livejournal.com]

Here's hoping you'll get your wish, sooner rather than later, darling. ♥