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Since starting my studies in psychology, one of the things that has continually fascinated me is the human concepts of self. I've started thinking about in more mechanical terms since I started playing In Nomine, if only because selflessness vs. selfishness is one of the primary themes, and selflessness is simply so /rare/ in the average human being. After thinking about it for a while, I've formed a theory that what we call 'selfishness' can be broadly split into three categories.
Self-centeredness: Operational definition--The state of evaluating things based on your own perspective and experiences. This is the default state of humanity.../everyone/ is self-centered to various degrees. We couldn't get through life if we weren't. Thus, it is a neutral attribute. However, it's also a problematic neutrality, since it is the cause of many of the ways that good people can be stuck in bitter disputes. Is it a biblical quote that says that we see life not through a window, but as through a mirror? However it goes, it's true. Thus, what someone else sees as an innocent remark can be hurtful, and one person's compliment can be another person's sarcastic remark.
Self-awareness: Operational definition--The state of knowing your own capabilities, needs, and abilities, and enforcing them. This is, in my opinion, the 'good' kind of selfishness. It's the abilitiy to recognize that taking on that new project will make it impossible for you to do any of your tasks-in-progress to your best ability, or knowing (and mentioning) that you'd prefer to take in a musical rather than a ballgame tonight, but could be persuaded to go to the /next/ ballgame. It's knowing what /you/ are willing to do (or not do), for your own happiness. It's best combined with compassion and empathy.
Selfishness: Operational definition--The state of feeling entitled to having your own needs fufilled by others, regardless of the cost to them, or their own needs. This is the 'bad' kind of selfishness. It's not about what you're willing to do to achieve your goals, but what you believe other people should be doing to /make/ you happy. It's not just obliviousness to other people's wants and needs, it's /callousness/. Whether it manifests as aggressive abuse or passive aggressive guilt trips, it's still rooted in the same idea: that the selfish person's needs/wants/whims should trump everyone else's, and that it's okay to throw a fit if they don't.
In my possibly pessimistic opinion, everyone contains all three of these things, to differing degrees. It's better, I think, to have more self-awareness than selfishness, but they're both present in the vast majority of people, and are healthy to some extent. The problem comes in when self-centeredness and selfishness are present to a great degree, without the moderating influence of self-awareness, or other virtues such as empathy, compassion, or barring all else, a good enough ability at acting to disguise it.
Self-centeredness: Operational definition--The state of evaluating things based on your own perspective and experiences. This is the default state of humanity.../everyone/ is self-centered to various degrees. We couldn't get through life if we weren't. Thus, it is a neutral attribute. However, it's also a problematic neutrality, since it is the cause of many of the ways that good people can be stuck in bitter disputes. Is it a biblical quote that says that we see life not through a window, but as through a mirror? However it goes, it's true. Thus, what someone else sees as an innocent remark can be hurtful, and one person's compliment can be another person's sarcastic remark.
Self-awareness: Operational definition--The state of knowing your own capabilities, needs, and abilities, and enforcing them. This is, in my opinion, the 'good' kind of selfishness. It's the abilitiy to recognize that taking on that new project will make it impossible for you to do any of your tasks-in-progress to your best ability, or knowing (and mentioning) that you'd prefer to take in a musical rather than a ballgame tonight, but could be persuaded to go to the /next/ ballgame. It's knowing what /you/ are willing to do (or not do), for your own happiness. It's best combined with compassion and empathy.
Selfishness: Operational definition--The state of feeling entitled to having your own needs fufilled by others, regardless of the cost to them, or their own needs. This is the 'bad' kind of selfishness. It's not about what you're willing to do to achieve your goals, but what you believe other people should be doing to /make/ you happy. It's not just obliviousness to other people's wants and needs, it's /callousness/. Whether it manifests as aggressive abuse or passive aggressive guilt trips, it's still rooted in the same idea: that the selfish person's needs/wants/whims should trump everyone else's, and that it's okay to throw a fit if they don't.
In my possibly pessimistic opinion, everyone contains all three of these things, to differing degrees. It's better, I think, to have more self-awareness than selfishness, but they're both present in the vast majority of people, and are healthy to some extent. The problem comes in when self-centeredness and selfishness are present to a great degree, without the moderating influence of self-awareness, or other virtues such as empathy, compassion, or barring all else, a good enough ability at acting to disguise it.
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Neat info!
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